Couples: Tips to Build Positivity in 15 minutes (or Less!)

 

Today in my Dual Career Couples Workshop, we focused on building connection, appreciation, and aligning values. It was really fun and inspiring to witness four couples engaging one another on topics that really matter. They were talking and listening, being serious and laughing, disagreeing and compromising, fundamentally respecting one another. Here are some of the suggestions I gave them to increase positivity in their relationships:

*Send your partner a text message or email during the day just to check how their day is going or to relate a success or something funny.
*Make your partner a lunch to take to work with a treat in it.
*Touch or kiss your partner. Take his or her hand when walking together.
*Stick up for your partner when your child is being disrespectful to him or her.
*Get your child to thank your partner for something that he or she did around the house.
*When you’re in a bad mood for unrelated reasons, acknowledge the cause (work, kids, headache).
*Acknowledge how hard your partner works (either on the job or at home).
*Ask how your partner’s work day was and listen. Celebrate a success or take his or her side if he or she complains. Do not enter into a competition over who is more stressed or busier or works harder.
*Offer to dry while he or she washes or suggest you fold laundry together while watching a movie or show you both like.
*Give a neck rub (while watching tv, when you get into bed, or as your partner sits at the computer).
*Check in with your partner before you make a plan or commitment that will require something from him or her (working late, attending a night meeting, going out with friends).
*When you have a conflict, acknowledge your part in creating or resolving it.
*Choose something you like or admire about your partner and meditate on it or remember times when this quality was displayed.
*Notice a routine task your partner does and say thank you.
*Notice something that needs doing and do it (take out the recycling, make the bed, empty the dishwasher.)
*Read a funny or interesting item from the newspaper out loud to your partner.
*Plan an evening out.
*Plan an at-home date.
*Laugh out loud at his or her jokes.
*Share chocolate.

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