Stigma-Busting (or How I Dealt With Lice)
As my children and I boarded the plane at SFO bound for Lake Michigan, the pilot invited the kids into the cockpit for a look. One by one they sat in the pilot’s seat while I took photos with my phone-cam. It was cramped but jolly, and then Matty informed the pilot, “I have lice.” Although I knew I shouldn’t, I felt a wave of embarrassment and shame. I snapped my last photo, thanked the pilot, and hustled the kids to our seats. Lice carries a stigma of poor hygiene, poverty, bad grooming, and disease (all of which are unrelated to lice infestation). And on top of...
Read MoreBreaking Up (With Your Job) is Hard To Do
I have a client who is completely fed up with her job. She is spread too thin, underpaid, under-resourced, isolated, and dissatisfied. She has tried hard to make the job work better, but it has now become clear that the fundamental problems with this job are not going to change. She sees that it will never provide what she wants and needs from her job: financial reward, respect, teamwork, meaning, and balance. If this job were a boyfriend, her friends would all be urging her to dump him and find someone more worthy. And yet she is finding it difficult to leave – in part because she feels...
Read MoreWalking My Talk
A good friend of mine recently asked me if being a coach makes me feel like I have to do everything perfectly. I told her that I don’t feel that way, but that I do feel an obligation to “walk my talk.” But what does that really mean? For me, it means that I need to do what I ask of my clients: * Dream big * Set specific goals * Be accountable * Take action * Question assumptions * Stretch * Risk failure * Celebrate success * Care for myself * Be grateful The list goes on …. geez, that’s a lot! And of course there are many times when I am not walking my talk. Maybe I know...
Read MoreMommy Needs a Time Out
I am test-driving Jane Nelsen’s “Positive Discipline.” As I read the book, I am trying the techniques, and I will share my experience with you. Here’s the scene: I have just busted my daughter for some infraction, and she is defensive and angry. I begin to explain the limit I am setting — let’s be honest, I am lecturing — and she is not listening (the hands covering her ears are a giveaway). “You need to listen to me,” I say, trying to contain my frustration and anger, but I might as well be an adult in a Charlie Brown cartoon:...
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