When Is It OK to Settle for Less Than Your Dream Job?
I believe in going for it, following your muse, pursuing your dreams — not playing small or “settling.” But sometimes, it’s right to take a job that is not your dream job. But don’t despair — you can make such a pragmatic choice without giving up on your vision. The key is to continue to nourish your passion, commit to learning, and maintain your perspective. The two most common circumstances in which it may be right for you to take a so-so job are when you need the income and the dream job is not available or doesn’t pay enough, and when you need to...
Read MoreTwo Essential Job Search Tools (hint: they’re not your computer)
The Internet has made posting, searching, and applying for jobs easier than ever, but it has not made getting a job any easier, especially not in the current market. Ironically, all of the technology has made the personal touch even more important. In the bad old low-tech days, we used to submit resumes and cover letters (on bond paper!) by mail. Even with mail-merge programs, it was fairly labor-intensive and not to be done on a whim. Our resumes were then reviewed by hand with all the other resumes, and we typically got a letter or phone call in response. (I can still remember those form...
Read MoreGet Out of the Box, Literally
I confess, I have come to loathe the phrase “think outside the box.” My quibble is not with the concept, but with the overuse of the metaphor. Now it turns out that the value of thinking outside the box is not just metaphorical – it is literal. New research described in the New York Times demonstrates that people confined inside a 125-cubic-foot box think less creatively than those allowed to sit outside the box. The researchers call this “embodied cognition” which means that our physical experience influences our thinking and our perception of reality. Thus, a person holding a cup...
Read MoreMarriage Confidential — Provocative but Unsatisfying
Pamela Haag’s Marriage Confidential is a promising and provocative but ultimately disappointing exploration of modern marriage. In what she calls the “post-romantic” era of marriage the author introduces the concept of the “semi-happy” or “low-conflict” marriage – a partnership that remains intact not because it satisfies the spouses’ romantic yearnings but rather because it makes pragmatic sense. Declaring herself to be semi-happily married, Haag suggests that the prevalence (within her social circle, at least) of this marital phenomenon, along with the high divorce...
Read MoreAsk the Right Questions
Sometimes, asking “why?” can be a trap. A typical individual coaching client comes to me wanting to do something (it could be anything – find a job, write a book, earn a promotion, get in shape) and looking for my help. Very likely by the time he comes to me, he has been thinking about it for a while. He probably feels stuck and unable to close the gap between what is and what he wants it to be. The temptation for some of these clients is to delve into explaining to me why they have not done what they say they want. Reasons range from the practical (it’s hard, they don’t...
Read MoreMindfulness Lesson on Ice
Today at the ice rink, the present moment collided with the past and the future. And I’m not talking about science fiction here. I received a lesson in mindfulness. For the first half hour of our family outing I skated slowly, holding hands and guiding each of my children as they found their balance and gained confidence. Then I handed my youngest off to my husband and did a few circuits solo. It was bliss to whizz around the ice, weaving in and out of teens, couples, and families in an arena echoing with laughter and barely recognizable classic rock. And that’s when it happened:...
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