How You Slice It
What are your priorities? Are you living them? There’s a group called NotMyPriorities.org that hands out postcards depicting a pie chart of the United States’ budget. The Pentagon’s slice is well over half the pie, with each of the other categories (education, health, environment, justice, housing, etc.) occupying just a tiny wedge. My older daughter picked up this postcard from a sidewalk protester and asked us about the chart. Next thing you know my husband had us all (including our preschooler) drawing our own pies and dividing them up as we saw fit. “Imagine...
Read MoreChildcare – Who Pays?
“I’d love to work, but I’d barely make enough to pay for childcare,” says my friend, a mother of three. And I’ve heard this explanation from many stay-at-home-moms, heck, it was my reasoning for a long time as well. But assessing the cost of childcare solely to the mother’s income doesn’t make sense, says Joan Williams, author of Re-Shaping the Work-Family Debate: Why Men and Class Matter. Instead, couples should view the cost of childcare as a cost of “protecting the economic future of the entire family, and specifically the children” and...
Read MoreFind Abundance Through Sharing
These days, scarcity is everywhere. As the media tell us daily, jobs are scarce, money is tight, credit is hard to get, and hope for speedy recovery is in short supply. On top of the financial pinch, many of us feel caught in a perpetual time crunch — there never seem to be enough hours in a day. Everywhere you look seems constrained, diminished. One great way to create a feeling of abundance is to share. Example: last weekend our family hosted our annual holiday party. Each year we invite friends and acquaintances from all aspects of our lives, I bake hundreds of cookies and other...
Read MoreThe Stop Doing List
If you’re like me, you have a To Do list — whether the high-tech version on your smart phone or the low-tech kind written on a Post-It, or perhaps just maintained in your head. But do you have a Stop Doing list? Maybe you should. I got this idea from Jim Collin’s illuminating book, Good to Great — Why Some Companies Make the Leap and Others Don’t. Part of what makes good companies great is not being overly diversified. The great companies he studied pursued a single “Hedgehog Concept” (being the best at one thing rather than being an also-ran at a...
Read MoreThe Four Bs of Balance
When my pals and I were in our twenties, I don’t remember worrying much about finding balance in our lives. We worked hard, played hard, stayed up late and damn the consequences. But now as a mid-career professionals, many of us with children, I find we are all talking about it, and I also hear it from my clients. We know that imbalance is inherently unstable and unsustainable, but it can be hard to envision a different way. So what is balance, and how can we achieve it? Stand on one foot and you’ll see that balance is not static. You wobble and waver. Even if you manage to stand...
Read MoreHappiness vs. Pleasure
I have a confession to make: I didn’t actually feel very good at the gym on Saturday. My triathlon training session — especially my somewhat labored running — was not pleasant. It didn’t actually hurt, but it was hard work for me. I thought of the blog I had posted just the evening before and felt a fraud for having blithely promised that I would be happy at the gym the next day. Would a passer-by think I looked happy? Probably not. Red-faced, perhaps even grimly determined … yes. But happy? Really? The answer was yes. Because happiness and pleasure are not...
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