Networking is Not a Dirty Word
Many of my career coaching clients cringe at the word “networking.” But I think networking gets a bad rap. When undertaken in the right spirit, building relationships can be fun as well as helpful. And you don’t have to be Keith Ferrazi to do it. Here are some of the main complaints about networking, and my responses. Objection: Networking feels manipulative, like I am using people. Expand your perspective and take the long view. It’s not all about you. Networking is relationship and community building, and it is reciprocal. When you connect and form a new...
Read MoreNo More Mister Nice Guy?
Nice guys earn significantly lower salaries than less agreeable men (though still more than women, regardless of their agreeableness) reports a new study by Timothy A. Judge, Beth A. Livingston, and Charlice Hurst in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Whether you are surprised or unsurprised, dismayed or vindicated, you may be wondering whether this information should lead you to try to change your workplace behavior or persona. Bottom line: if you want to get a raise, should you act like a jerk? No. Instead, the authors of the study recommend that we adopt a “flexible...
Read MoreLaunched!
This morning, I launched my son — my baby — into the world. Today he begins an academic career that I hope will foster and channel his natural curiosity, helping him chart a path of discovery that takes him ….. where? The possibilities are endless. He also will encounter a new social milieu and an expanding circle of influences — both positive and negative. My heart was full of hope and nervous excitement as I gave him over into his teacher’s capable hands. And at the same time, I was aware that entering kindergarten also signifies a curtailing of his freedom....
Read MoreLearn from Success
“Learn from your mistakes.” How many times have you heard this? It’s good advice, as far as it goes. The lessons of our failures are valuable — burn your finger once and you learn to steer clear of the hot stove. But how often have you conducted an autopsy of a success? What might you learn if you did? Chip Heath and Dan Heath’s reader-friendly book “Switch — How to Change Things When Change is Hard” invites us to devote more attention to our successes — both for what we can learn about how to solve a problem and to help avoid overwhelm...
Read MoreThe Benefits of Over-Communicating
When in doubt about who’s doing what, OVER-COMMUNICATE. Ask questions. Air assumptions. Clarify, clarify, clarify. Frequent, direct communication prevents you from assuming that your colleague is going to do something, only to find out when it’s too late that he thought you were responsible. (Remember the old saw that when you ASSUME it makes an ASS of U and ME? It’s true.) Over-communication of this kind also prevents you from stepping on your collaborator’s toes when you take action that you thought was obvious without discussing it with her first. Explicit...
Read MoreHow You Slice It
What are your priorities? Are you living them? There’s a group called NotMyPriorities.org that hands out postcards depicting a pie chart of the United States’ budget. The Pentagon’s slice is well over half the pie, with each of the other categories (education, health, environment, justice, housing, etc.) occupying just a tiny wedge. My older daughter picked up this postcard from a sidewalk protester and asked us about the chart. Next thing you know my husband had us all (including our preschooler) drawing our own pies and dividing them up as we saw fit. “Imagine...
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